


Yes, That's a Spongebob Reference

by bokuakabeam



Series: BokuAka Week 2020 [10]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, M/M, just for fun i literally don't know how to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:27:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25810567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bokuakabeam/pseuds/bokuakabeam
Summary: “Keiji, can you not hum Ke$ha when I’m trying to be stealthy?”
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Series: BokuAka Week 2020 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1856998
Comments: 7
Kudos: 89





	Yes, That's a Spongebob Reference

**Author's Note:**

> Bokuaka Week 2020 Day Ten -- Free Day

Akaashi hummed quietly to himself as he bent his legs and clutched his knees to his chest. He was sitting in the passenger seat of a van, but with the car turned off and the sun having been tucked away for hours at this point, he was anxiously shrouded in darkness. The street lamps outside were the only source of light on the whole block, and even they were dim and hardly useful. So Akaashi sat, picking at some dry skin around his fingernails, and hummed under his breath to try and pass the time.

“Keiji, can you not hum Ke$ha when I’m trying to be stealthy?” Bokuto’s voice crackled over the phone that Akaashi had propped onto the dashboard.

“What, would you rather me hum the Mission Impossible theme song? You’re not robbing a bank, Koutarou,” Akaashi scoffed, frowning and fidgeting in his seat. “How much longer, anyway? This van you rented certainly isn’t inconspicuous.”

“I’ve literally been gone for two minutes, Keiji. You’re so impatient,” Bokuto teased, and Akaashi could almost hear the smile on his face. “Man, we shoulda got one of those things that, like, cuts glass! That would have been so badass.”

“I think it’s badass enough that you rented a van and bought us solid black clothes and beanies,” Akaashi reminded his boyfriend, adjusting said beanie on his head. Normally people don’t expect Akaashi to go along with whatever crazy and/or dangerous plans that his boyfriends concocts, but he has a little secret: he likes it. He likes the adventure, the feelings of not knowing what’s going to happen next. It sends a thrill through Akaashi’s whole being. Not to mention, Bokuto is always ten times sexier when he has a look of triumph on his face from a job well done.

“A van and black clothes does not a good mission make, Keiji.”

“Were you just trying to sound sophisticated there, Kou? Because you just sounded like you had a stroke.”

“Shut up!”

“Keep your voice down! Are you inside yet?” Akaashi immediately straightened in his seat, grabbing the phone and bringing it closer to his lips.

“I’m about to climb in through the window now.”

“Koutarou, we have a key.”

“Yeah, but how spy-like is that! Oh! We should have gotten one of those, like, rappel things and you could have dropped me from the ceiling!”

Akaashi resisted the urge to roll his eyes before he remembered that Bokuto couldn’t see him. He rolled his eyes.

“Koutarou, just use the key. You make noise when you get up off the couch, what makes you think you can quietly climb in through a window?”

Akaashi heard Bokuto huff, and then go silent — hopefully to ditch his window efforts in favor of entering through the front door. The earpiece was actually Akaashi’s idea. When Bokuto said he needed to break in to get ‘compromising documents’, Akaashi suggested they use a bluetooth earpiece so if Bokuto happens to get in trouble — which he tends to get himself into on a daily basis — Akaashi would be there to help at a moment’s notice.

“Koutarou, you went radio silent. Everything okay?”

Nothing.

“Koutarou, you’re freaking me out.”

Nothing.

“Dammit, Bokuto, if you don’t—“

“Chill out, ‘Kaashi! I’m in! I was just taking a leak.”

“Y-You…” Akaashi trailed off, trying to choose his words very carefully. “You left your DNA all over the toilet?”

“What? No, I know how to aim, Keiji.”

“No, that’s not—“

“Besides, who’s gonna check the toilet for DNA? I don’t think they’re smart enough for that.”

“I think you are greatly underestimating them. Although, I don’t know what it is you’re trying to steal, so it could be worthless for all I know.”

“Oh, it’s not worthless, Keiji. If this got out, I’d never be able to show my face outside again.”

“Alright, Koutarou, listen. You told me to treat this like any other heist. Like we’re in Ocean’s Eleven or some shit. But when I bring up being careful and DNA, you treat me like I’m an idiot.”

“No, no! You’re never an idiot, Keiji, I’m sorry. I’ll start taking this seriously. Thanks for helping me, babe.”

Akaashi felt a light blush adorn his cheeks, and he couldn’t help but smile, holding the phone against his chin. “You’re welcome, Koutarou.”

“Oh, shit.”

“What?” Akaashi asked, the blush instantly seeping from his face.

“Shit, shit, shit!”

“Koutarou I swear to God, if you don’t answer me, I’ll never—“

“The _fuckin’_ cat saw me, it was staring into my soul! I was so scared— Wait, never what? Finish your threat, ‘Kaashi.”

Akaashi pouted and turned his head away from the phone childishly, mumbling, “Just get whatever it was you went in there for, Bokuto.”

“Aw, what happened to Koutarou? I love it when you say my name.”

Akaashi remained silent petulantly.

“Although I would love it if you said ‘Bokuto’ in reference to yourself.”

Akaashi whipped his head back towards the phone, his mouth gaping. “Excuse me? What do you think you’re doing?”

“What?”

“Do _not_ propose to me over the phone, you idiot!”

“I thought we were already engaged?!”

“Wha—?”

“Yeah! Remember when you made that really good dinner and I said I wanted to marry you, and you said okay?”

“That is _not a proposal_ , Koutarou! What the fuck! All this time, you thought we were engaged? Oh, my God, that explains the phone call from my mother.” Akaashi buried his face in his free hand, squeezing his eyes shut. “Bokuto, I really don’t want to keep having this conversation while you’re whispering and sneaking around someone else’s house.”

“I’m almost done, ‘Kaashi.”

If Akaashi hadn’t been looking out the window at that second, he wouldn’t have seen a light flicker on in the upstairs window. The blood drained from his face, and he knew he had to approach this calmly and rationally.

“BOKUTO, THEY’RE AWAKE! THE LIGHT’S ON, GET OUTTA THERE!”

Smooth.

“Fuck!”

On Bokuto’s side, Akaashi could hear commotion, and someone else shouting, although it was muffled.

“I’m jumping out the window!”

“Koutarou, no!” Akaashi watched in horror as Bokuto clambered out the upstairs window and dropped into the bushes below. However, he did see a glimpse of something in his grasp. “Did you get it?”

“I got it! Start the van, go, go, GO!” Bokuto’s voice got closer and clearer as he ran towards Akaashi. The man scrambled into the driver’s seat and revved the car to life, just as Bokuto jumped into the passenger’s side.

“Hah! Fuck you, Kuroo! I got it!” Bokuto leaned out the window just as Kuroo revealed himself at the front door. Light spilled out from behind him making his disheveled hair look even crazier, and Akaashi could just barely make out the look of aggravation on the man’s face.

Akaashi sped off when Kenma showed up behind Kuroo. They were not going to stay behind and deal with the wrath that the small, blond man could evoke when woken up.

“What was it that you needed, Bokuto?” Akaashi glanced out of the corner of his eyes, trying to catch a glimpse of the small piece of paper Bokuto was now admiring.

“Oh, well...” Bokuto scratched the back of his head. “It’s an embarrassing picture Kuroo took of me at the Christmas party.”

**Author's Note:**

> My [Twitter](https://twitter.com/bokuakabeam)


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